not a lady's man i'm a landmine
not a lady's man i'm a landmine
My entire life is a piece of performance art.
Embrace it or fuck off.

twitter.com/outorightfield
instagram: alipaigegordon
snapchat: alipaigegordon
click here look at my face
click here to learn about me
  • my bf: *doesnt reply*

  • me: [fuck this, I can do so much better than this ashy ass bitch. what am I supposed to do with some lil dick for the rest of my life anyways??? let me call his best friend MATTER OF FACT LET ME CALL HIS BROTHER. he’s not even that cute for me to be stressing over him. only reason I dated him is cause my girl told me to give his lil ugly ass a chance I'm over it tho, next! ha ha!]
  • my bf: my bad I had to pee. 

  • me: I thought you did! wassup babe 😍😛
14,598 notes


(Source: dayfall, via tupacabra)

522 notes

deverse:

my mom meant to post a picture of her dog and posted a picture of a turkey insteadimage

(Source: deverse, via jellys)

494,898 notes
Contrary to popular belief satire isn’t supposed to exploit or offend the already marginalized. That would be: Exploitative Humor.

(Source: shitrichcollegekidssay, via binary-shminary)

8,312 notes